Remembering to Forget
by Mnemosyne's Elegy
Summary: It is a sad existence indeed that is based upon the need to remember to forget. But perhaps the problem is that it is sometimes all too easy to forget to remember. An alternate view on Yami's memory loss. A What-If one shot.


**Note: A What-If one shot. This is sort of an alternate take on Yami's missing memory. It is perhaps a little AU-ish since this isn't exactly canon, but I think it is an interesting concept. I'm sure someone has written about this before, but I haven't seen it, so let me dream on that it's unique xD  
**

**Warning: Some spoilers included, but it basically only stretches to the names of some of the Memory Arc characters, Yami's real name, and a couple hints of past events. Nothing is in enough detail that it should ruin the story if you haven't seen the Memory Arc yet.**

* * *

Yami paced the corridors of the Puzzle's labyrinth restlessly. His confident footsteps echoed through the darkness, but their false bravado masked a bone-numbing weariness. He didn't know why he still did this to himself. Perhaps it would be better to stop this futile search for his true soul room. He would regain his memories when fate decreed that the time was right, and not a moment before.

So why did he wander still? It was hope, he supposed. Everyone needs something to hold onto, something to hope for. His hope was that he would find his memories on one of these endless searches. And in any case, it was something to do while Yugi was sleeping or when the boy needed some "alone time". It wasn't like there was much else to do inside the Puzzle.

Yami was jerked out of his thoughts when he felt something change. Or, not change, exactly, but something was definitely different. He studied the hallway carefully, his eyes jumping from door to door. Every door in this maze looked the same, so it was impossible for him to tell whether or not he had been somewhere before. It didn't matter much since no door he opened ever revealed anything important.

But now…He wasn't sure why he suddenly had the feeling that this corridor was different. Important, even. It looked just like any other passageway in the maze. Every door was pristinely identical. Nothing looked out of place. Nothing was different. He shouldn't get his hopes up.

But even though Yami told himself these things, his footsteps quickened as he hurriedly strode to the first door and ripped it open. Nothing. The second door. Nothing. The third. Nothing.

As door after door opened to reveal nothing out of the ordinary, Yami's footfalls fell back to a weary shuffle, even his earlier confidence evaporating. He had told himself not to hope, but he hadn't been able to follow his own instructions. And now look where he was. It had been a false alarm. Sighing heavily, he began walking down the corridor at a steadier pace, now ignoring the doors to either side of him. He just wanted to be out of this hallway.

Up ahead the corridor split into two, and Yami breathed a sigh of relief. Soon he would be out of this place of false hope and he could forget that he had ever been here.

He almost didn't notice the door.

Every door in the Puzzle was identical. Every last one. Except this one. This one was different. It was made of heavy gold inlaid with sparkling jewels and carved hieroglyphics instead of the normal weathered wood of the others.

Yami stopped dead. _Could it be…?_ He didn't know how long he stood in front of the door staring at it, but it felt like hours. _Could it be?_ Finally, steeling himself for disappointment, he strode forward purposefully, without hesitation, and yanked the door open.

And in that brief moment, he remembered everything.

The wave of memories crashed over him, threatening to bring him to his knees. He managed to stand under the onslaught, his eyes widening in wonder as they took in scene after scene of his ancient past.

The wondrous attack finally ceased, and Yami leaned heavily against the doorframe, his mind working furiously to process all of this new information. Colorful snippets of memory writhed about his mind, each fighting for his immediate attention.

He could remember his childhood friends, his family, his enemies. He could see their faces and hear their voices. Their names flashed through his mind. Mana. Mahad. Seth. Father. Mother. Thief King. Zorc. He could remember his land and his people. His sacrifice.

_Shifting sands hot beneath his feet. Footsteps echoing loudly through the palace corridors. A girl's sheepish face poking out of a large vase. Bursts of magic, soul monsters coming to life. Sealing spells and unfeeling stone slabs. Screams and shouts of the dying as darkness fell over the land. Thick red blood coursing through the streets. A flash of light and the sensation of a soul tearing apart, memories fading away._

Yami gasped, no air entering his nonexistent lungs. Nonexistent. Yes, he was a spirit now. A wandering soul with duty but no life to speak of. But it had not always been this way. Once he had had a body to drink the air. Once he had been a real person with family and friends of his own. A Pharaoh who had ruled his kingdom justly and given his life for his people.

He _hadn't_ been an evil king, no matter what Dartz or anyone else wanted him to believe. It was as if a huge weight had been lifted from his chest, and a wide smile spread across his face. He hadn't been an evil king.

His memories were back! Yami knew everything now. He knew that he still had a long journey ahead of him, but somehow it was made easier by the knowledge of his past. Now he knew who he had been and what he had stood for. Suddenly he wasn't just some pathetic spirit without a past, some empty page with only a blank slate to look to. No, he was Atem, proud former ruler of Egypt. He really was _somebody_.

His laugh bounced off the walls of the passage and echoed throughout the Puzzle's labyrinth. He _knew_! He had to tell Yugi right away! He began running back through the maze, preparing to manifest outside the Puzzle.

_\\\Yugi!\\\_

_\Yami? What's wrong?\_

_\\\Nothing is wrong. I have to tell you something very important!\\\_

_\You finally found something?\_

_\\\Wait, I am coming out to tell you.\\\_

_\Alright. Hurry up!\_

Still grinning, Yami reached the entrance to the Puzzle and threw the door open, choosing to manifest in his phantom form beside Yugi in the real world. As he stepped out of the Puzzle, an uncomfortable feeling washed over him. It was as if something was draining away. Something important.

He reached out for it desperately, grasping for the fleeing thoughts to no avail. Whatever had once been there was gone, leaving him feeling even emptier than before.

"Yami?"

Blinking in weary bewilderment, Yami turned to face the inquisitive boy peering at him.

"Did you find something?" Yugi asked again, his eyes shining with excitement.

Yami frowned. _Had_ he found something? He had been wandering the Puzzle again, but it had just been more of the same-one identical door after the other. Why had he come out here so abruptly? Why had he been so ecstatic?

"No."

"Oh." Yugi looked disappointed. "Well, what did you want to tell me then? You seemed pretty excited."

The spirit's frown deepened. Why _had_ he come here? What had he meant to say?

"I do not know," he said slowly. "I…do not remember."

Outside Yugi's window, the sun slowly slid beneath the horizon, leaving the room and its inhabitants smothered in silent darkness.

* * *

The Millennium Puzzle gleamed darkly in the half-light. Another crisis averted. The Pharaoh was off meddling where he didn't belong again. Well, it was no matter. If he would not remember to forget, he could be made to forget to remember.

* * *

He almost didn't notice the door.

Every door in the Puzzle was identical. Every last one. Except this one. This one was different. It was made of heavy gold inlaid with sparkling jewels and carved hieroglyphics instead of the normal weathered wood of the others.

Yami stopped dead. _Could it be…?_ He didn't know how long he stood in front of the door staring at it, but it felt like hours. _Could it be? _Finally, steeling himself for disappointment, he strode forward purposefully, without hesitation, and yanked the door open.

And in that brief moment, he remembered everything…


End file.
